When I entered eating disorder recovery, I realized that there was an astonishing lack of variety in recovery narratives. It seemed like everything I read, listened to, or watched was solely about anorexia recovery and usually consisted of inpatient hospitalization, residential treatment, a struggle to complete a dieticain-perscribed meal plan, and finally, either fully recovery or relapse. I felt very alone in my recovery - I was diagnosed with anorexia because of my low weight, but couldn’t find myself in anyone’s Anorexia Recovery posts.
Two years after I got diagnosed with anorexia, I have BED (binge eating disorder) or non-purging bulimia depending on who you talk to. I've desperately scoured the Internet for any label that “fit”, anyone with thoughts or a story like mine, and any advice that actually worked. Why is it so difficult to find advice, stories, and people that I actually connect with?
Two years after I got diagnosed with anorexia, I have BED (binge eating disorder) or non-purging bulimia depending on who you talk to. I've desperately scoured the Internet for any label that “fit”, anyone with thoughts or a story like mine, and any advice that actually worked. Why is it so difficult to find advice, stories, and people that I actually connect with?
- My initial diagnosis only took into account my weight, not my thoughts. I’ve always had a mindset usually associated with bulimia and orthorexia, but because I was diagnosed as anorexic, my entire treatment team and family believed I was simply in denial of my “anorexia” and thus, didn’t address or even acknowledge my binging. I felt like a square peg in a round hole reading about people's anorexia recovery because I don't struggle with anorexia
- I’m an ethical vegan who believes that we should all eat more plants and have had orthorexic tendencies, so I never found a dietician who could meet all of my detailed, rigid food rules
- I’m a diehard feminist who believes in body neutrality and self-love not centered upon appearance, so recovery advice like, “Tell yourself you’re beautiful!” and, “Love your body!” seemed counter-productive and impossible when I couldn't even imagine feeling neutral about my body
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